why i need barbiturate

semalam i mimpi i pergi supermarket nak cari mars bar, tapi i tak jumpa yang single packet punya. i pusing satu kedai and all i found was yg mini packs n yang 4 in 1 packs. sedih kan?



and then i mimpi lord voldemort tengah hunt i. konon2 macam i ni harry potter female version. i naik kereta malam2, pastu dia panjat bumbung kereta i lompat2. pastu tiba2 ada part pasal hari sukan sekolah pulak. what the?



i have trouble sleeping lately. last night, everytime mata i lelap, its like ada orang inject adrenalin dalam badan i. i pun guling like crazy sambil moaning and grumbling, sampai i decide nk tidur duduk sebab tension sangat.



a few nights before, i went to bed dengan hati yg duka lara. hahaha. then i bangun pukul 3 pagi, moaning non stop for a moment and then sambung tidur blk. malam kelmarin adik i ckp i moaning dalam tidur, almost like mengigau. kali ni i did it unconciously. apa yang sedih sangat?? i pun taktau.



i've come to a conclusion. i rasa i kena sampuk. hahaha. tapi bulan puasa ni takda *wooooooooo*. u get what i mean, kan?



so i found a website that can translate the meaning of dreams and this is the interpretation of my dream:


Searching

Psychological Meaning: What are you trying to find? Your dream search may symbolise the quest to find something physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. You may be searching for a new way to solve an old problem. If you dream of searching for someone you know, you may be anxious about your relationship with that person and want to end the emotional separation. Are you sure that this search is worthwhile or is the dream reflecting your feeling of hopelessness?


Mystical Meaning: Perhaps your dream is a spiritual search. Myths such as the King Arthur’s knights’ quest for the Holy Grail may be describing the inner process of spiritual transformation.



i think my dream ada mystical meaning :D

chumi and the froggies

(macam nama band siot)

i want to blog about something but i dont know what i should blog about :)

so, i'll just blog about random things.

yesterday i went to a golf club for buka puasa. as usual, buka puasa ofcourse buffet style punya. and mind you, i HATE buffet. first; cause i'm a light eater, its such a waste. so don't ajak me pergi buffet at hotels and save your money, haha. second; cause i hate watching people pile up food on their plate with their tamak face. like they've not eaten for weeks.

after buka puasa, we all headed back to mama miah's house. we celebrated yana's birthday! blow candles, watched miss universe, and makan duku langsat sambil duduk bersila depan teevee -.- hahaha. we are so kampung but thats just how we roll, bebeh. but my family is so cool. my cousin brought her bf with her, and to my amazement, my family tak macam judgemental or anything. so i told my mum, "nanti if awa ade bf awa nak bawak pegi family events jugak la."

i said IF. and she said okay.

i disected a frog at bio tuition just now. in fact, i disected a few of them. i'm so proud of myself! i like them better when they are dead. but they're really2 smelly! dead or alive. i still cant get the fishy smell, or should i say the froggy smell, out of my head. jeeez, its torturing!

someone brought something like this one, freakishly big! n it's heart keep on beating even after it's been cut off from the body.

my holiday is not that great. maybe its because of the fasting month. cant go to kopitiam to lepak, too hungry do do anything. so i just stayed at home, paint my room. only go out of the house for tuitions and bazaar ramadhan. yes, i'm so devoted to my studies i haven't miss any tuitions yet. heh heh. *kening kening* (as amer arif would put it, inside joke)

so tomorrow's the fifth day peeps. i'm going out for berbuka *sigh* maybe i need to socialize more, hehe. have a great fasting people!

me and the paint brush

song of the mo' :

honest mistake - the bravery

my guitar rock jam :)

tengah cat my bedroom. nanti i post pictures if ada masa.

cuba teka colour ape! ^^

puasa kali ni tak macam puasa dulu2. now if pegi bazaar, i akan beli maximum 2 items je. bukan 10 macam last year.

maybe coz wisdom tooth i baru tumbuh. so i'm wiser now. hahaha.

selamat berpuasa, blogworms!

i am so angry my head can explode.

"i hate almost everything about you. and yet i am still here, attached to you like glue."

10 things about me that i feel like sharing:

1. my current credit balance is RM17.60($.$)

2. someone have a problem with my stubbornness.

3. i don't get to watch g.i. joe because i wasn't invited.

4. my addmaths paper2 was freakishly hard like mad.

5. i just got a new (lame) phone 2 days ago.

6. i got RM52 in my tabung.

7. i feel like grabbing everything i see and stuff them in the washing machine. *cleaning mode*

8. i will not be going for the 10 hour biology seminar thingy.

9. i can't wait to buy my red kebaya.

10. someone needs to tell my bestfriend that he needs to stop smoking.

the forgotten.

i just had another dream of him last night.

we, the family, talked bout him during dinner yesterday. i told them how he's been appearing in my dreams like he's still alive and not yet dead. and they told me it happens because i've not been praying for him. and he thinks i've forgotten about him or something.

to tell ya the truth, i always remember him. how could i forget? up to this moment, i still couldn't believe that he's gone for good. in all my dreams that i had that has him in it, he's not really gone. although we know that he's no longer alive, but we also know that he always come home to visit us.

how can a dead person come and visit?

maybe in reality, they do. spiritualy i mean. but we couldn't see them. if we couldn't see something, doesn't mean its not there, rite?

when i told my mum this morning about the dream that i had, she told me that i should pray for him more. she said that when he was alive he had loved me unconditionally. so i should show mine by praying for him when he needs my prayers the most, which is now.

him.

sometimes we choose not to remember something or someone because we know how much pain we will have to deal with if we choose otherwise.

not interested

song of the mo' :

search and destroy - iggy pop and the stooges

so, today's bio paper was okay. i'd rate it 5/10. mainly 'cause the first 2 questions was from the few chapters that i really focused on revising the night before. usually, i leave my bio paper2 almost 3/4 blank, this time only 1/4 of it was left blank. LOL. never in my life i studied bio like i did for this exam. *pat on the head*

in other news, i heard that somebody 'talked' about me behind my back to my best friend. i don't really care if people wanna talk and complaint about me, but constantly doing that to all my closest friends? gosh, is that pathetic or what?

at first, i'm totally cool with this person talking about me to my friends. i thought, hey, maybe he needs someone to talk to and something to talk about. everybody does. but something happened recently that made the relationship between us tensed a bit. but i don't think i was my fault things ended up the way it did 'cause honestly, i was just being nice and trying hard not to hurt his feelings.

but he doesn't realize this. so next time i'm just gonna say things straight the way i feel bout it and stop trying to compose it in pleasant words just so that they won't hurt his feelings. there's no point doing that when he doesn't care bout what i think and what i want. i am what i am, and i want what i want! haha, sound like a big bossy bitch, eh?

my main point is, i don't appreciate people telling me what i should do and how i should treat my friends or how i should behave. if u feel that i'm not treating you good enough or the way that u think u deserve, then that is not my problem. u should really go check yourself, maybe there's something wrong with YOU, not me.

and i really think that friends shouldn't date one another. end of story.

chaos

song of the mo' :

i wanna love you forever - Jessica Simpson

i'm now in the middle of reading Jodi Picoult's vanishing acts. apart from that, i tried reading Stephenie Meyer's the host. but i gotta say, its not her best piece so far. its too early to tell really cause i haven't finish reading yet. exams! pfftt.

my book-shopping list:

1. harry potter and the chamber of secrets

2. harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban

3. harry potter and the goblet of fire

4. harry potter and the half blood prince

5. harry potter and the deathly hallows

6. the tales of beedle the bart

7. the magician's nephew

8. the lion, the witch and the wardrobe

9. the horse and his boy

10. prince caspian

11. the voyage of the dawn treader

12. the silver chair

13. the last battle

and all Jodi Picoult's and Cecelia Ahern's books. after i'm finished with all these, i'm gonna start reading lord of the rings. oh god, i hope it doesnt bore me to death. i'm so not into hobbits and creepy old man with excessive facial hair. i'm more like a vampire-werewolf person (cehhh), but i'll try.

if u're asking about my future plans, this is all i got. really.

screw the future people!

love ya'll.

she's a genius

thats the title of my current favourite song.

she's a genius - JET

i dedicate this song to all the ladies out there who doesnt feel afraid to be weird and different from others. we're the ones who makes the world go round.

oh betapa tandusnya blog entri ku!

straight to the point, without making any stupid excuses.

i admit that i'm supercalifragilisticespialadociously lazy to post on my blog. in fact, i'm lazy to do almost everything. like waking up in the morning and force myself to shower. or eat dinner. or replying text messages. or answering my goddamn phone. or going out to the mall. or flush the toilet after i'm done with my business. haha, i'm lazy like thatttt. although the last one is obviously not true.

the only thing that i cant afford to be lazy is when it comes to study. now is the panic season, i bet all the candidates for SPM 2009 are feeling the exam heat and have started putting on their nerd glasses and thinking caps. and for some, started to boil the biology and history books and notes and drink the essence in hopes to ace the respective subjects in the trial exam.

as for me, i'm pretending to be busy, reading books and stuff to make the people around me feel the pressure even more. haahaa.

i just had one of the most unacceptable/ridiculous/childish/annoying conversations of my life a few hours ago with a person that i believed could have save me from facing the worst nightmare of my life. to bad that person crushed my hopes :( thank you so much, that person.

i wish i can fly away far from here and only come back when i feel ready. can i skip the phase of my life where i need to have affairs with books instead of men? can i have a life where all i need to do to keep on living besides eating is reading story books? or better yet, living the life of a fictional character of my choice?

life ain't that sweet, honey.

to end this entry, i would like to promote my school's prom nite that will be held at THE ROYALE BINTANG (near the curve) on 19th of december 2009.

the tickets available are:

RM98 per person

RM193 per couple

RM950 per table (10 people).

don't u dare tell me the price is expensive. u do want it to be the best prom nite ever, rite? :)

payments can be made to me or through other prom committee members. and no, partner of the same gender is not considered as a couple. thank you very much.