i left my footprint on your ass

like always, i have lots to write about. its been awhile since i my last 'real' post. but nowadays i feel like i can't just write about anything i want here in my blog. because certain things that i would like to write about are rather sensitive, to me and to some people.



although names will be changed, but i know people would still suspect something is not right. and the one situation i can stand being in (besides being ask about my personal life) is when people ask me about the matters of my blog post. its like freaking awkward, man! what's in the blog stays here, reality is another story.




i am a totally different person when i blog, I'll switch into my alter ego character, my own version of Mr. Hyde. haha. and sometimes, things that i write here are written with the purpose of just wanting to let it all go, wanting to release the burden so that i can be free of it to be able to move on with life.




in life, we can't afford to hold on to things that tend to hold us back from reaching whats better in life. for example, bungee jumping. how can you experience the excitement of adrenalin rushing through your veins, which is the main purpose of bungee jumping, if you don't let your hands off the railing?




let go, don't think too much of what might come next, be a free man. a free man is a happy man :) that's what I'm doing, letting go of whatever that upsets me.




DON'T SAY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET GO. WELL, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW.

you're gonna have to let yourself feel the pain, embrace it, live it, love it baby! tell yourself that there are more pain to feel in days to come and this is just like a pinch on the arm. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

learn from it. look back and see where you went wrong. put your ego aside and admit it that you did mess up, but never ever ever feel bad about it. everyone make mistakes! you can't turn back time and fix it, can you? what you can do is learn from it and try not to repeat it again in the future.

when you're ready, create an imaginary box with pretty flower and butterfly prints on it. fill the box with all the sadness, anger, frustrations and bad memories before putting the cover on and tying it securely with a red ribbon with yellow polka dots.

now put that box on the roadside of your life, wave goodbye to it with a smile and walk forward.

continue on with your life and when you've achieve what you wanted but didn't get the chance to have it before, then you shall take a look back and you will see that very box by the roadside with that red ribbon with yellow polka dots and pretty flower and butterfly prints.

and you'll say, "what a pretty box, i wonder what's in it?"

but you will have better things to do like drinking tropical punch with a slice of pineapple and a mini umbrella on the rim by the beautiful beach of your imagination than wasting your time opening that pretty-looking box.

bing!

"I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier,

I know that the clubs are weapons of war,

I know that diamonds mean money for this art,

But that's not the shape of my heart."

-sugababes feat sting.

its rockin

EDITORIAL BOARD MEETING

Monday, 22 June 2009

1.40 - 2.30 pm

ruang legar

be prepared with ideas,

bring whatever necessary,

be there or be square :)

yours faithfully,

holiday's over, get back to work

firstly, i'm writing it here because i'm too lazy to log in into the permata blog. so yeah, listen people.


ed board members, please la be proactive. start doing your job from now. sorry i can't always tell u what to do. i think what i've explained to u guys are enough.


and sorry for the slow progress of the magazine. blame the exam. now we're doing all the reports on the events that took place at school. and the pictures just arrived, i'm sorting them out to be send to the printer.


fund-raisers, start selling the advertisements. creatives, now is the perfect time for u guys to design the cover and stuff. photography? *crickets* i wonder why i'm getting all the pictures from teacher? whyyy? and reporters, well, all i know is that syazana and azlyn is doing all the work.


and to anyone out there who have ideas that u wanna share to make the magazine more interesting, just see me okay. i'll be beyond happy if u could contribute some ideas, cause i'm running out of them.


n regarding the senior page, i've been informed that some classes are having issues on who should design the senior page. why don't u guys design it together? its best that the pages are not being divided between groups and being design by different groups. thats just wrong people, where's the unity? anyway, as long as the pictures are appropriate (no obscene pictures), then it should be okay.


anddd, last but not least, there might be a meeting next week. just wait for the announcement. most probably on wednesday, after school. make yourselves available on that day. i really really really appreciate it if all of you, the ed boards, could make it.



yours truly,

tweet tweet!

i am getting addicted to twitter.

simply cause i can crap all i want like nobody's business there.

yeah, i do crap shit a lot these days.

i find it very therapeutic.

<3<3<3 them

maybe i'm not always there with them,

but i am always there for them.

i love you so very very much!

i'm like a fertility charm or what

its like every time I'm near animals, they tend to get horny and mate with each other. I'll share with u my experience.



situation 1:

i went to pavilion with my aunty last last weekend. we had lunch at the food republic there since we couldn't decide which restaurant to go. while i was eating my not-so-delicious prawn mee, along came a pair of flies flying happily near my left shoulder. i was like, whaddefak with these flies! don't they have somewhere else to be! this is frigging pavilion, how can there be flies!

i tried to shoo them away but they're just too stubborn i guess. maybe it was my prawn mee that attracted them, but they just flew near my left arm only! how annoying! my aunt who was observing finally said, "maybe they wanna get married." in other words, they're trying to make love with each other. yeah, i think so too. but get a room or something, not on my arm!



situation 2:

last week, i was forced by my parents to follow them back to our hometown in muar. the journey took twice the time we usually travel, there was heavy traffic on the way there. blame the holidays! we arrived in the evening. so as usual, when we're in muar, always ask my parents to take us to the tanjung, a place near the muar river bank. what is special about that place is that there are a lot of monkeys there. and visitors are allowed to feed them.

we bought 3 packets of peanut and i took one of them and fed a female monkey. she ate the peanut so happily. behind me was a male monkey, i offer a peanut to him but he rejected it, so i assumed that he's not hungry. the suddenly, that male monkey walk towards the female monkey and he HUMPS on her! right in front of my eyes! i quickly shouted at my father who was standing beside me, "ABAH!! DIORANG TENGAH MATING!!" lucky me, there was a whole bunch of crowd at the very place and i bet all of them heard what i said. some of them were laughing and some was just speechless. once again, thanks to that horny monkey, i managed to embarrass myself in public.



situation 3:

my uncle has like a rabbit farm or something at his backyard in my hometown. whenever i went back there, i just couldn't resist to play with the cute little rabbits. one day, i went to the rabbit house to check out on the baby rabbits. i stop at a cage to see these two rabbits playing catch with each other. ohhh, how cute! i thought. but what happened after that wasn't cute at all. out of a sudden, one of the rabbit jumped onto the other and started humping. just like thatttt y'all. no wonder they were running around the cage happily like nobody's business. i thought i was watching animal planet on tv!

maybe i am a fertility goddess after all.

should try being around humans and see what happens.

harhar!

as if you know who they are,

siapa yang dalam dunia ni tak rasa kawan dia is the best in the world? semua orang akan cakap kawan diorg yang paling baik, yang paling cool, yang paling fun. kenapa? because they're ours! we chose to befriends with them. we know we made the right choice.


persoalannya, is it fair if kita nak cakap kawan orang lain teruk? i mean, just because kita tak kenal kawan orang tu, and kawan orang tu tak macam kawan kita, boleh ke kita nak terus judge benda yang bukan2 dekat orang tu and kawan dia?


for instance, a guy told a girl to be careful with who she makes friends with. this guy reminded the girl that people cannot be trusted, not even her friends. he said he knows well enough about people and dia banyak pengalaman whatsoever.


is it fair?


i'm sure that guy pun ada kawan kan. apa dia akan rasa if orang cakap dekat dia "eh, u shouldn't trust your own friends. they're not what u think they are."


we SHOULD trust our friends. because if we don't, who else should we trust then?


the purpose of having a friend is so that we can depend on each other. we know that we can depend on a friend is when we feel that no matter what happen to this crazy world, we can always count on our friend. in order to have a long lasting friendship, the most basic thing we need to have is trust. without trust, there will be doubt, and when there's doubt, there's not gonna be any friendship!


and what are we without friends?


we don't need to judge other people's friends because each of us is blessed with our own circle of friends. just because we feel that our friends are the greatest, it doesn't mean that other people's friends are not as good as ours.


my friends are the greatest in the whole wide world and i couldn't ask for anything better. i know who they really are inside out and i know i will be alright whenever i am with them.

i just hate it when people starts to talk bad about my friends.

tau la kawan2 kau macam sial kan?

note to self

do i smoke?

no.

do i drink?

no.

do i take weed/ice ice baby?

no.

do i shisha?

no.

do i sneak out?

no.

have i ever been to a club before?

no.

am i a party animal?

no.

have i ever watch porn before?

no.

have i ever been out alone with a guy before?

no.

whats the worst thing i've ever done with a guy?

hold hands.

am i a virgin?

hell yeah.

and why aren't they satisfied yet?

because they only see the bad things i've done, not the bad things that i've avoided myself from doing.

what's their definition of wild?

go out for a dinner with a girl and 3 other guys at a decent restaurant with so many other normal people until 10pm.

how do i feel about that?

confused.

i'm not that ego after all.

i used to say that i don't need a boyfriend to have fun. independant women like me dont depend on guys to make us feel worth it. thats the truth of the situation. after being in 5 relationships where 3 of them are very shitty and sadly all of them ends up badly, its no surprise that the idea of self dependent is somehow drilled to my mind. and also being brought up in a family which in my opinion i think is dominated by the women, i trully, absolutely believe it.


nowadays its really hard to find a decent guy who has the basic qualities that a guy should have. i'm sure most of u guys out there disagree with me and say, "hek elehhhh, die ni baru putus cinta 5 kali dah cakap benci lelaki" or "cehh, macam semua perempuan dlm dunia ni baik sangat." bla bla blaaa. u know what? i dun freaking care. because:

1. 5 times IS a lot and people should not be surprise if i become a lesbian by now, which i'm not.

2. i don't hate guys. i love them. except the minority who gave the other half a bad name.

3. yes, there are girls who are shitty too. but why should i talk about them here? i'm not concern about them because we are the same species. i'm only interested to talk about the opposite sex. wouldnt it be weird if i talk about girls here? major ewww!


by saying this, it doesnt mean that i'm gonna grow up and marry a girl in the future. i ain't no lesbo i tell ya. i will eventually marry a guy, if i'm lucky enough to ever find a fine one someday. YES, I WILL MARRY A GUY, ONE WHO HAS A PENIS AND A PAIR OF TESTICLES. please don't misunderstand and think that i'm a true feminist who only go for the same sex. thats totally not gonna happen!


but today, i feel like i miss being in a relationship which i can commit to. u know, have a tough and strong shoulder to cry on, a person i can talk crap to, a friend to share everything with without feeling awkward and guilty, a person i can go out with without having to deal with the gossips and rumours that follows afterwards. in simpler words, a person that is officially mine! woahh, that sounds very selfish, but what the heck! hahaha.


i still think that i don't need to find a guy to be happy. but i think its much better to have a guy to share the happiness with.

i'm not pathetic, just melodramatic.

:)