bummed

how does it feel when all the hopes n burdens is placed on your shoulders? the pressure to succeed in academics n whatever shit is all being piled up on your back n u cant even voice out your own choice to lead your own life? its just tiring n frustrating n making me feel like giving up! i dont know how many times i've said this but i never got tired of it. when i stop n take a look at my life, i felt like i'm missing a lot in life. i'd rather be a stupid bimbo bitch than being a smart brainiac who is depressed all the time. people say i should stop thinking n just live my fucking pathetic life while i still can. but honestly, i cant do that. not that i wouldnt, but i just cant. there's too many people putting their hopes on me. until sometimes i feel like its not my dream i'm pursuing, but theirs. at times i do need a little push but not a constant one that pushed me too hard till i reached the edge. sooner or later believe me, no matter how strong i am, i will fall n break to pieces. n when that happens, it will all look bad on me, not them. as perfect as i look, i'm all thorn up inside. eeeeeee! okay la, i'll stop whining about my life. cause i'm freaking super duper happy rite now. i got a call from some guy telling me that

I GOT THE JOB AT BASKIN ROBINS!

YEAY ME!

i'm so proud of myself

;P