i'm not that ego after all.

i used to say that i don't need a boyfriend to have fun. independant women like me dont depend on guys to make us feel worth it. thats the truth of the situation. after being in 5 relationships where 3 of them are very shitty and sadly all of them ends up badly, its no surprise that the idea of self dependent is somehow drilled to my mind. and also being brought up in a family which in my opinion i think is dominated by the women, i trully, absolutely believe it.


nowadays its really hard to find a decent guy who has the basic qualities that a guy should have. i'm sure most of u guys out there disagree with me and say, "hek elehhhh, die ni baru putus cinta 5 kali dah cakap benci lelaki" or "cehh, macam semua perempuan dlm dunia ni baik sangat." bla bla blaaa. u know what? i dun freaking care. because:

1. 5 times IS a lot and people should not be surprise if i become a lesbian by now, which i'm not.

2. i don't hate guys. i love them. except the minority who gave the other half a bad name.

3. yes, there are girls who are shitty too. but why should i talk about them here? i'm not concern about them because we are the same species. i'm only interested to talk about the opposite sex. wouldnt it be weird if i talk about girls here? major ewww!


by saying this, it doesnt mean that i'm gonna grow up and marry a girl in the future. i ain't no lesbo i tell ya. i will eventually marry a guy, if i'm lucky enough to ever find a fine one someday. YES, I WILL MARRY A GUY, ONE WHO HAS A PENIS AND A PAIR OF TESTICLES. please don't misunderstand and think that i'm a true feminist who only go for the same sex. thats totally not gonna happen!


but today, i feel like i miss being in a relationship which i can commit to. u know, have a tough and strong shoulder to cry on, a person i can talk crap to, a friend to share everything with without feeling awkward and guilty, a person i can go out with without having to deal with the gossips and rumours that follows afterwards. in simpler words, a person that is officially mine! woahh, that sounds very selfish, but what the heck! hahaha.


i still think that i don't need to find a guy to be happy. but i think its much better to have a guy to share the happiness with.

i'm not pathetic, just melodramatic.

:)