for you my dearest friend

its very late now to even write. or shall i say early? who cares anyway. i suddenly had this urge to express my current feelings in this precious blog of mine. these thoughts in my head that kept me awake till now, 4.57am.


theres questions popping up that began to make me second guessing myself. am i behaving badly as a friend? are my advices that suckish till no one, or shall i say that specific someone, choose not to take it? all i want to do is trying to help. but clearly it doesnt seems to work, or even make a slightest change to the situation. is it me, i kept asking. but i know the answer, its already in my head ready to spill it to u. its not me, its you!


it may sound absuredly selfish but thats what i think. u may think otherwise, i dont care. okay, maybe i'm known for my horrible mood swings n i tend to behave over-dramatically at times. thats just my reaction, i tried my best not to let it affect the situation. we humans does have limits. in case u havent notice, I AM A HUMAN. not some feelingless alien freak from mars! so, do understand.


all i want is for u to listen. listen to what i have to say, listen to yourself. listen to what people around u are saying. after all, this life is not just about you. stop making yourself as miserable as hell. what ever that upsets u, just let it go n believe me, it will help u to get over it. tell me, how can u get over a thing when u kept holding on to it? everyone hav been through the bad times but we move on because theres so much more to life than just thinking bout what we cant fix or change.


at times i feel like u're treating me like a stranger. why? am i one to u? its just frustrating when u acted so differently. u said u've been hurt by my words n action, like i'm not by yours! like i said before, its not all about u. one thing that i think u forgot is that i am n always will be there when u need me. it doesnt matter if we dont see each other's faces often. we can still tell each other stuffs. its doesnt make any diff.


i have my reasons not to see u when u asked to see me. but when i asked u about ur probs, u refused to tell me. how am i suppose to help if u're not trying to help me help u?? u're the one who told me theres no secrets between us. i guess its easier said than done huh?


i'm not writing this to play the blame game. i'm here because i need u to know what i feel inside. we've been busy arguing n failed to have a proper grown up conversation. if u've found a better friend that can take over my place than i'm happy u did. what else can i say? stop making your life miserable damn it.