limit

every person in this world has their own limit point.

it shows how much pain one can endure, how tough they are, how patient they are, how strong they are at keeping up with the nonsense that other people create for them.

but what happens when a person have reached his/her limit point and realize that they couldn't take it anymore?

they break.

as for me, every time i felt like breaking, i kept telling myself,

"I'm flexible, i'm stretchable. i'm like a rubber, and rubbers don't break."

yeah, they don't. but hearts do.

what would you do if...

two of your friends fight and you know one of them is at fault while the other one is suffering because of it?



heh. no comment.

i can't smile without youuu.

god bless this ugly child.

i saja nak upload gambar kat sini eventhough dah upload kat facebook :D

this is, as u all have guessed, my baju raya for this year. i was suppose to buy one in blue *winkwink*, but it was hard to find one that can fit perfectly on me. as my body is "unproportional" in a way. lol. so i just bought this one because the kakak indon said the bright colour compliments my fair skin. awww. that kakak indon also gave a a crash course on how to wear the kain pario that came along with this outfit. fuh, it wasn't easy i must say. imagine the risk of having to face with public humiliation when the kain pario can fall at any time. okay why am i crapping and telling u all this? jeez.

and so i got bored with blogging. wanna know why? because now i play farmville at facebook! wanna be my neighbor? hahaha.

i can't believe i'm turning eighteen 3 months from now! ohmygosh! i'm getting old :(

when i was younger, i used to say, "ohhh, lambat nye nak besar. tak sabar nak habis skola and pergi club and drive and boleh pergi mengundi... -.-" ni especially masa form 2 la. but now when i'm getting close to be able to do all that, i realise that i don't want to grow up just to be able to do all that. i am willing to give up all of that so-called freedom just so that i can stay this way, young and innocent, as long as i can.

but i do wanna grow tall no matter what :)

now at this age i always say things like, "grrr, gila lambat nak besar. tak sabar nak kawin" or "bila la nak besar and jadi kaya gila and tinggal kat UK." but i know that when the time comes, i will not want the same things as i want now. i just want to stay the way i am now and not grow and pray for the time to stop.

can you imagine yourself being old? i know i cant. i hope even when i'm older, my mind will stay the same, only wiser. i wanna be as fun, (hahaha, me? fun? i know) open-minded and cool as i am now. cehh, in other words, i dont wanna turn out like my mum. KIDDING! although my mum makes the funniest old-people-lame-jokes. i once told her this, "mother, now i know where i got my lame genes from -.-"

haha, i call her 'mother' when i'm annoyed with her. just like when she calls me 'farah' when she's angry at me. my grandaunt calls me 'farah deeba' when she doesnt get any response from me after calling me by my real name. my uncles on the other hand, call me 'farah debab' because they think its funny. how sad.

okay enough crapping. i'll shut now, thank you.

she's a genius

thats the title of my current favourite song.

she's a genius - JET

i dedicate this song to all the ladies out there who doesnt feel afraid to be weird and different from others. we're the ones who makes the world go round.

oh betapa tandusnya blog entri ku!

straight to the point, without making any stupid excuses.

i admit that i'm supercalifragilisticespialadociously lazy to post on my blog. in fact, i'm lazy to do almost everything. like waking up in the morning and force myself to shower. or eat dinner. or replying text messages. or answering my goddamn phone. or going out to the mall. or flush the toilet after i'm done with my business. haha, i'm lazy like thatttt. although the last one is obviously not true.

the only thing that i cant afford to be lazy is when it comes to study. now is the panic season, i bet all the candidates for SPM 2009 are feeling the exam heat and have started putting on their nerd glasses and thinking caps. and for some, started to boil the biology and history books and notes and drink the essence in hopes to ace the respective subjects in the trial exam.

as for me, i'm pretending to be busy, reading books and stuff to make the people around me feel the pressure even more. haahaa.

i just had one of the most unacceptable/ridiculous/childish/annoying conversations of my life a few hours ago with a person that i believed could have save me from facing the worst nightmare of my life. to bad that person crushed my hopes :( thank you so much, that person.

i wish i can fly away far from here and only come back when i feel ready. can i skip the phase of my life where i need to have affairs with books instead of men? can i have a life where all i need to do to keep on living besides eating is reading story books? or better yet, living the life of a fictional character of my choice?

life ain't that sweet, honey.

to end this entry, i would like to promote my school's prom nite that will be held at THE ROYALE BINTANG (near the curve) on 19th of december 2009.

the tickets available are:

RM98 per person

RM193 per couple

RM950 per table (10 people).

don't u dare tell me the price is expensive. u do want it to be the best prom nite ever, rite? :)

payments can be made to me or through other prom committee members. and no, partner of the same gender is not considered as a couple. thank you very much.

i left my footprint on your ass

like always, i have lots to write about. its been awhile since i my last 'real' post. but nowadays i feel like i can't just write about anything i want here in my blog. because certain things that i would like to write about are rather sensitive, to me and to some people.



although names will be changed, but i know people would still suspect something is not right. and the one situation i can stand being in (besides being ask about my personal life) is when people ask me about the matters of my blog post. its like freaking awkward, man! what's in the blog stays here, reality is another story.




i am a totally different person when i blog, I'll switch into my alter ego character, my own version of Mr. Hyde. haha. and sometimes, things that i write here are written with the purpose of just wanting to let it all go, wanting to release the burden so that i can be free of it to be able to move on with life.




in life, we can't afford to hold on to things that tend to hold us back from reaching whats better in life. for example, bungee jumping. how can you experience the excitement of adrenalin rushing through your veins, which is the main purpose of bungee jumping, if you don't let your hands off the railing?




let go, don't think too much of what might come next, be a free man. a free man is a happy man :) that's what I'm doing, letting go of whatever that upsets me.




DON'T SAY YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET GO. WELL, I'M GONNA TEACH YOU HOW.

you're gonna have to let yourself feel the pain, embrace it, live it, love it baby! tell yourself that there are more pain to feel in days to come and this is just like a pinch on the arm. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

learn from it. look back and see where you went wrong. put your ego aside and admit it that you did mess up, but never ever ever feel bad about it. everyone make mistakes! you can't turn back time and fix it, can you? what you can do is learn from it and try not to repeat it again in the future.

when you're ready, create an imaginary box with pretty flower and butterfly prints on it. fill the box with all the sadness, anger, frustrations and bad memories before putting the cover on and tying it securely with a red ribbon with yellow polka dots.

now put that box on the roadside of your life, wave goodbye to it with a smile and walk forward.

continue on with your life and when you've achieve what you wanted but didn't get the chance to have it before, then you shall take a look back and you will see that very box by the roadside with that red ribbon with yellow polka dots and pretty flower and butterfly prints.

and you'll say, "what a pretty box, i wonder what's in it?"

but you will have better things to do like drinking tropical punch with a slice of pineapple and a mini umbrella on the rim by the beautiful beach of your imagination than wasting your time opening that pretty-looking box.

tweet tweet!

i am getting addicted to twitter.

simply cause i can crap all i want like nobody's business there.

yeah, i do crap shit a lot these days.

i find it very therapeutic.

<3<3<3 them

maybe i'm not always there with them,

but i am always there for them.

i love you so very very much!

as if you know who they are,

siapa yang dalam dunia ni tak rasa kawan dia is the best in the world? semua orang akan cakap kawan diorg yang paling baik, yang paling cool, yang paling fun. kenapa? because they're ours! we chose to befriends with them. we know we made the right choice.


persoalannya, is it fair if kita nak cakap kawan orang lain teruk? i mean, just because kita tak kenal kawan orang tu, and kawan orang tu tak macam kawan kita, boleh ke kita nak terus judge benda yang bukan2 dekat orang tu and kawan dia?


for instance, a guy told a girl to be careful with who she makes friends with. this guy reminded the girl that people cannot be trusted, not even her friends. he said he knows well enough about people and dia banyak pengalaman whatsoever.


is it fair?


i'm sure that guy pun ada kawan kan. apa dia akan rasa if orang cakap dekat dia "eh, u shouldn't trust your own friends. they're not what u think they are."


we SHOULD trust our friends. because if we don't, who else should we trust then?


the purpose of having a friend is so that we can depend on each other. we know that we can depend on a friend is when we feel that no matter what happen to this crazy world, we can always count on our friend. in order to have a long lasting friendship, the most basic thing we need to have is trust. without trust, there will be doubt, and when there's doubt, there's not gonna be any friendship!


and what are we without friends?


we don't need to judge other people's friends because each of us is blessed with our own circle of friends. just because we feel that our friends are the greatest, it doesn't mean that other people's friends are not as good as ours.


my friends are the greatest in the whole wide world and i couldn't ask for anything better. i know who they really are inside out and i know i will be alright whenever i am with them.

i just hate it when people starts to talk bad about my friends.

tau la kawan2 kau macam sial kan?

what the world need to know

i hate to find that i left my pencil case at home.

i hate drinking warm milk.

i hate waking up from my evening nap with a heavy headache.

i hate waiting.

i hate it when my hair becomes oily at the end of the day.

i hate dealing with neighbours.

i hate guys who makes noises when they see a girl.

i hate it when my plant in the garden wilts.

i hate being in crowded places.

i hate ikan kembung.

i hate sleeping in the dark.

i hate bloated tummy.

i hate certain people who doesn't know when to grow up.

i hate watching movies alone.

i hate uncivilised people.

i hate being late.

i hate PMS.

i hate warm nights.

i hate foods that lacks tender love and care.

i hate unsuccessful baking attempt.

i hate rude waiters/waitresses.

i hate songs that discriminates women.

i hate injustice.

i hate guys who doesn't know how to treat a girl.

i hate cruelty against animals.

i hate bad hair days.

i hate people who doesn't return my smile.

i hate being unimportant.

i hate going to school on saturdays.

i hate crying.

i hate the feeling of regret.

i hate being in a position where i have to make a choice.

i hate sean kingston n soulja boy.



now u know why i always whine about almost everything.

rockaholic!

my passion for blogging has washed down the drain :)

i'm sucha sucker, i know. haha.

okay, so for the next 3 weeks, i'm gonna be in my exam mode.

hows exam mode really?

well, i'm gonna be all dull and spiritless and boring and NERD.

wait! i'm like that all the time, aren't i? lol.

i'm so looking forward for the long holiday after the exam.

so many movies to watch!

can i quit school and become a full time movie watcher?

lol, such job only exist in my dreams!

i'm so messed up inside i dont even know how to deal with myself anymore.

i'm so UNWORTHY.

shadap now?

alrite,

bye bitches. <3

ps: good luck for your exam, dudes/dudettes.

guys nowadays

siapa suka myscene?

alaaa, yang dolls semua tu.

well, diorg ada website yang sangat cool.

boleh main game semua.

http://www.myscene.com/

its very addictive!

tak percaya tanya amer arif.

dia ajak i main 2 minit yang lepas.

creepy, man.

awake

current soundtrack: all about loving you-bon jovi

jon bon jovi is a sexy old man. i see my dream husband material in him. :)

i've always been a subject of accusations. when there's a mistake, even when i'm innocent, i'm gonna be the person to be pointed fingers at. sometimes i find this very amusing! like today at school, pn. rina told me to finish the permata job that she 'gave me in her thumbdrive yesterday'. i was concentrating on my karangan, shocked and i said, huh, mane ade cikgu bagi saya. then she said, ohhh kamu jangan cakap tak, saya dah bagi kan semalam. then syazana who was sitting beside me suddenly interupt, cikgu bagi kat saya kan? damn son. farhana was like, kesian farah ohh, selalu kena tuduh. i know, what an unfortunate child i am. totally need a plastic surgery to change this "guilty" face into a more "innocent" face.



so into anne frank stuff lately. she lived such a short life. but she left a big impression on many people even after she died at the age of 13, fulfilling her dream to still continue on 'living' even after she's gone. i'm 17 and i've not yet accomplished many of my life goals. now i'm inspiried to start my own diary/journal. i'll start off by writing letters for my loved ones for them to read after i'm gone. just in case i'm fated to leave this world at early age :) we all have to prepare in some ways rite? okay, dah stop bersedih rakan-rakan. this is just a thought, they come ever so randomly.

hoping can be the only thing worth doing when everything else fail.

but hoping for something uncertain will only make one look stupid.

my turqoise pinafore

masa meeting bendahara, semalam.

miss ass: awak kelas ape?

me: 5A, cikgu.

miss ass: hurm, jumpa saya masa rehat nanti. *muka serious*





masa rehat.

me: cikgu nak jumpa saya?

miss ass: yeah. kamu pakai pinafore kan?

me: haah. *muka bingung*

miss ass: skirt kamu pendek mana?

me: paras lutut, cikgu.

miss ass: tak bolehhh. pendek sangat tuh! kena sampai bawah lutut.

me: owh, okayyy.

miss ass: kamu ni butang tak baju dekat dalam? ke biar dedah sexy2?

me: mana ada! saya butang la cikguuuuuu.

miss ass: ni tak boleh pakai pendek2 nii. kita taknak murid perempuan terdedah-dedah ni. pakai la baju kurung. kan manisssss!

me: *smiled*





aku tak pakai pinafore pun masa tu. kenapa nak jugak cari pasal?





so, hari ni aku pakai my 5-inches-above-the-knee pinafore. happy and proud!



puas hati aku dapat mencabar kesabaran kau. aku harap kau gembira.





miss ass sedang menjadikan murid2 perempuan melayu yang pakai pinafore pegi sekolah sebagai sasaran. murid perempuan melayu ada hak untuk pakai pinafore jugak, setaraf dengan murid bukan melayu. setahu aku, dalam rule book sekolah takde pun menyatakan hal ni.

"murid perempuan melayu dilarang memakai pinafore."

atau

"hanya murid bukan melayu sahaja dibenarkan memakai pinafore"

ada keeee?

dengan memakai pinafore tak bererti kami kafir, minum arak, berjudi, mengamalkan seks bebas, hisap dadah atau jual badan. bukan. pinafore hanyalah salah satu seragam sekolah sama macam baju kurung yang boleh dijadikan pilihan untuk pakai pegi sekolah.

kenapa chumi pakai pinafore?

sebab aku confident dan kaki aku tak banyak parut, walaupun berisi dan pucat. last time aku pakai masa darjah satu, masa mula2 start sekolah. sekarang, kat hujung2 zaman persekolahan ni, nak merasa balik. setahun pun jadilah. daripada keempunan nanti dah masuk college menyesal sebab tak pakai pinafore masa highschool. haaa, masa tu takkan nak pegi kuliah pakai pinafore? memang kena baling kasut lah kan sebab orang ingat kau psycho tak puas menikmati zaman kanak2. tak dinafikan salah satu sebab pakai pinafore ialah sebab nak melawa. wanna be on top! haha. tapi siapa yang taknak jadi lawa kan? male readers, aku tau korang pun simpan angan2 nak jadi lawa macam joe jonas, mengaku jelah. dia memang lawa.

my point is, tak adil untuk cikgu mendiskriminasi pelajar perempuan yang pakai pinafore. pakai pinafore bukan bermakna kami sluttish dan bila dah besar nanti jadi GRO. ini hanya keinginan zaman remaja yang perlu dipenuhi sementara kami masih layak bergelar remaja.

dah besar nanti aku pun nak pakai tudung :)

shocker huh?

did u know ...


that full cream milk is actually full FAT milk?
i drank a box yesterday :O


and that spicy chicken mc deluxe is much more healthier than chicken mc nuggets?


and that french fries are more carcinogenic than big mac?


and that butter is better than margarine?


and that if u cook olive oil, its not gonna be healthy anymore?


goddamn.

MY HOLIDAY VACATION

i went for a 4 days 3 night vacation. where to? mama miah's house! while i was there, i learnt to cook many things. such as nasi bryani, pineapple tarts, kerabu mangga, orange cake, bla bla bla.


i found the orange cake recipe here. since my grand uncle is sick n he lovesssss orange cake so much, i made him one. the cake was AMAZING. melts in your mouth, even secret recipe cakes cant beat my orange cake. haha, ofcoz i puji lebih la, made it myself maaa.


but some of the people who tasted my orange cake said that the cake was too fancy for their taste. i take that as a compliment anyway. fancy means good to me. :)


some said it tasted like castella, a Japanese version of kuih bahulu. i think so too, coz i've tasted them before, the green tea flavour tasted weird though. cehhh, pasni boleh la jual recipe aku kat castella kan?

. . . . . . . . . . .

one week of holiday is really not enough.

and i just realise that i hate looking at couples walking together, holding hands.

there's a voice in my head screaming and begging me to get a life.

whyyyyyyyyyy?

haha, pathetic.

ehmmm, haih.

i hope that you don't get the wrong idea of me.
coz it'll break my heart if u do.





i want u to care.

when i grow up

i'm still wondering what career to choose, so i made a list..

1. psychologist
2. hypnotist
3. editor in chief of seventeen magazine. woahh.
4. pengasas rumah kebajikan for homeless cats.
5. journalist
6. tauke kedai makan.
7. rock band manager
8. wedding planner
9. movie critic
10. full-time blogger
11. shoe collector
12. guru besar tadika kemas
13. professional grocery shopper
14. nature lover
15. owner salah satu outlet MPH
16. soccer mom, if ada anak la.
17. food designer


one for each year I've lived.


i wanna be all of 'em!

i've been waitingggg

yeay yeayyy, kuiz kerjaya jatuh pada 18 april 2009.

i'm so ready this year.

help college is sucha *tuuutttt*

why u guys cancelled the workshop last minute?!

hadoih.

to be a politician is the last thing on my list

i think our politics are immature. the politicians, they remind me of high school boys and girls.

when the juniors cari pasal with the seniors, and the seniors wants to get even, they'll say

"jom lah kita settle luar sekolah!"

followed by the f word, l word, b word, p word.

and then after school they'll gather in the park to watch a live show.

till the police patrol car had to come and break the fight.

or when the high school girls start to create dramas.

like if they hate a girl, they'll bitch about her,

call her names, make sure nobody is to be friends with her,

back stab her, write mean stuffs about her on the toilet wall.

till at last the poor girl will eventually surrender.

either shifting school,

or being admitted in a mental institution,

or just die, suicide.

if that's the case, i can do a better job than some of them.

vote for me! :)

I'm sure i can think of better dramas to create in the parliament.

geehee.

pardon me for speaking my mind ever so loudly.

oh kenapaaaaaa

cancer. it's such a big word. it'll be bigger if it applies to you.

let say. one day you're having a very bad headache. the next day, the doctor diagnosed u with a lung cancer.

"whats that gotta do with the very bad headache?" u may ask.

well, the cancer has reached a critical state and it has already spread to the brain.

now, that's when you realise life is not that long anymore.




i know a person in that situation. a very close person. family, in fact.

suddenly i thought, "why am i acting like everything is normal? i don't feel the sadness."

my theories:
1. i've known him since forever. so eventhough he's all sick, i still see him as the healthy person i've known all my life.

2. i'm just in denial. :) i only see what i want to see, i only feel what i want to feel.

3. i'm pretending to be happy when ever i'm with him so that he feel less like he's dying.

i think i should be sad. i must be sad. this is the perfect situation where i'm allowed to show my capability of being a sensitive person.

but how can i be sad when he's all happy like nothing is wrong with him? so confusing.





we didn't see this one coming, we can't. after all, we're just mere humans, with so many weakness.

all thats left for us to do now just is pray.

why are we attracted to younger boys?

because there's no eligible older guys here to flirt with. same age? nahhh, not our thang :D

kan husna, kannn?

*i know she doesnt read this but i still wanna write her name here*

its written on your face, baby

guys are so easy to read. this is not just a random fact. it is based on my personal experience. lotsa 'em! haha. sometimes their 'signs' are too obvious to ignore.


like this guy i know. i dont really know what his problem is. but i cant stand those constant glances he likes to give me. i'm NOT trying to blow my own horns here n say that probably he likes me. no, please dont get me wrong. its just an instinct. thats what i call it anyway. because we girls are very intuitive, rite girls? *yeahhhhhhhhh* sebab itu hanya ada naluri keibuan, bukan naluri kebapaan.


so next time if u like a girl, please do keep it to yourself. unless u purposely wants her to know that u like her. otherwise, just put it safely in a box, lock it n throw away the key. habis ceritaaaa. :)